How to Talk to Your Kids About Racism, Discrimination, and Bias

Abby Reed
Jun 24
2 min read

Racism isn't something kids are born with. It’s something they learn. And if they’re old enough to notice skin color, they’re old enough to start learning about fairness, justice, and respect.

The truth? If you don’t talk to your kids about racism, someone else will... and you may not like what they hear.

Here’s how to get that conversation started (and keep it going).

1. Start Early and Keep It Going

You don’t need a breaking news headline to bring this up. Young children are already forming ideas about people based on what they see around them. Use age-appropriate language:

“Some people get treated unfairly because of their skin color, and that’s wrong.”
“We believe in treating everyone with kindness and respect, no matter what.”

This isn’t a one-time talk. It’s a long-haul parenting commitment.

2. Use What They See

If they ask about something they saw on TV, heard at school, or noticed in a book, lean in. Instead of dodging it, ask:

“What did you notice?”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Why do you think that happened?”

Let them talk, then build on what they already know.

3. Name It Honestly

Say the word: racism. Not just “unkindness” or “bullying.” Kids are capable of understanding that racism means people being treated differently because of their skin color, culture, or background.

If you avoid naming it, they might not recognize it when they see it... or worse, they’ll think they’re not supposed to speak up about it.

4. Model What You Want Them to Learn

Kids are watching how you treat others, what jokes you laugh at, what stories you read, and who’s invited to your dinner table. Challenge your own biases out loud.

For example:

“I’ve been thinking about why I don’t see more diverse voices in the shows I watch. I’m going to look for something new.”
“That comment didn’t sit right with me. I want to talk about why.”

Your vulnerability gives them permission to be brave too.

5. Expose Them to Diversity

Books, shows, toys, church, school friends: representation matters.Make sure they’re seeing heroes and leaders of color, not just sidekicks or stereotypes. And don’t just show trauma, celebrate joy, culture, creativity, and resilience.

6. Teach Them to Speak Up

Give your kids tools to respond when they see racism:

“That’s not okay to say.”
“That joke isn’t funny.”
“Why did you say that?”

You’re raising a generation that doesn’t look away. And that starts with permission to challenge injustice, even when it’s uncomfortable.

7. Answer Their Questions (Even the Awkward Ones)

Kids may ask things that make you squirm. Don’t shut them down. Keep it simple, and say:

“I’m glad you asked.”
“That’s a really important question.”
“Let’s learn about that together.”

Honesty always wins.

Let’s Raise Better Humans

Talking about racism isn’t divisive. It's how we build empathy, justice, and real community. These conversations help kids understand the world and their role in making it better.

Need help with tough parenting conversations?

Join us for free parenting classes every Monday and Tuesday night at 6:30 PM and Tuesday mornings at 10:30 AM. More info: at www.lubbockfamily.org