Talking to Your Child About Suicide: A Guide for Parents

Our local communities are hurting. When young lives are lost, it leaves parents searching for answers and wondering how to help their children make sense of something so heavy.

One question we hear again and again here at Family Guidance and Outreach is: How do I talk to my child about suicide? For many parents, the instinct is to avoid the topic. It can feel frightening to imagine saying the words out loud, and some parents worry that bringing up suicide might somehow introduce the idea. Research tells us the opposite.

Studies have found that talking openly about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts in young people. In fact, honest and supportive conversations can reduce stigma and make children more likely to ask for help if they begin struggling with overwhelming emotions (Dazzi, Gribble, Wessely, & Fear, 2014; Gould et al., 2005).

When communities experience loss, children and teens often hear about it quickly through friends, school conversations, and social media. When adults stay silent, young people are left to interpret what happened on their own. Parents and caregivers play an important role in helping children understand difficult events and reminding them that support is always available.

Why This Conversation Matters in Our Community

Across the United States, suicide has become one of the most serious public health concerns affecting young people. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is one of the leading causes of death for youth ages 10–24. National surveys show that nearly one in five high school students report seriously considering attempting suicide, and about one in ten report attempting suicide within the past year (CDC, Youth Risk Behavior Survey).

In Texas, suicide is currently the second leading cause of death among youth ages 10–24 (Texas Health and Human Services). Closer to home, the South Plains region faces additional challenges. Community health assessments have found that Lubbock County’s suicide rate is higher than both the Texas and national averages, with approximately 18 deaths per 100,000 residents reported in recent years.

Researchers have also identified Lubbock as having one of the highest rates of suicide attempts among children and teens in Texas, highlighting the urgent need for prevention and support for young people in our region. These statistics represent students in our schools, families in our neighborhoods, and communities working to understand heartbreaking losses.

When tragedies occur locally, children often hear about them quickly through conversations with friends, school discussions, or social media posts. Without guidance from trusted adults, they may struggle to process what happened or how to cope with the emotions that follow. That is why conversations at home matter.

Start With Listening

One of the most powerful things parents can do is simply listen. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages parents to create opportunities for children to share what they have heard, what they think happened, and how they feel about it (AAP, 2022).

You might begin with simple questions like:

• “Have kids at school been talking about what happened?”

• “Did you see anything online about it?”

• “How are you feeling about all of this?”

Some children may have strong emotional reactions. Others may seem unaffected or unsure what to say. Both responses are normal.

According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, children often process difficult events gradually, sometimes returning to the topic days or weeks later (NCTSN, 2021). Listening without rushing to correct or lecture helps children feel safe sharing what they are really thinking.

Be Honest, But Keep It Age-Appropriate

Children deserve truthful information, but they do not need graphic details.

Experts recommend using clear and simple language. The National Institute of Mental Health advises avoiding vague explanations that may confuse children (NIMH, 2023).

For younger children, parents might explain: “Sometimes people feel so overwhelmed or hurt that they stop seeing solutions to their problems. Suicide happens when someone believes they cannot handle that pain anymore.”

For teenagers, conversations can include discussions about mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, stress, and social pressures. Adolescents today face significant pressures related to academics, social expectations, and online environments. Research has shown increases in depressive symptoms and suicide-related behaviors among teens over the past decade (Twenge, Joiner, Rogers, & Martin, 2018).

Honest conversations help young people understand that suicide is connected to mental health struggles and not weakness or failure.

Ask Direct Questions

Many parents worry that asking about suicide will “put the idea” in their child’s head.

Research has consistently shown this is not true. In fact, asking direct questions can help identify children who may be struggling and connect them with support earlier (Gould et al., 2005; Dazzi et al., 2014).

Parents might ask:

• “Sometimes when people feel really overwhelmed, they think about hurting themselves. Have you ever felt that way?”

• “Do you know anyone who has talked about hurting themselves?”

• “Have you ever felt so upset that you didn’t know how to handle it?”

If a child says yes, the most important thing a parent can do is remain calm, thank them for sharing, and seek professional support. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center emphasizes that open communication between parents and children is a key protective factor against youth suicide.

Know the Warning Signs

While not every child who struggles with mental health will attempt suicide, there are warning signs parents should be aware of. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, warning signs may include:

• talking about feeling hopeless or like a burden

• withdrawing from friends or activities

• major changes in mood, sleep, or behavior

• talking frequently about death or dying

• giving away personal belongings

• expressing feelings of worthlessness

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry also notes that sudden behavioral changes such as risk-taking, declining academic performance, or increased isolation may signal emotional distress.

When parents notice concerning changes, reaching out to a school counselor, pediatrician, or mental health professional can help children receive support early.

Reinforce One Powerful Message

Children need to hear this clearly: No problem is too big to talk about.

Young people who feel connected to supportive adults are significantly less likely to attempt suicide (Borowsky, Ireland, & Resnick, 2001). Parents can reinforce this message with simple statements like:

• “You never have to handle hard things alone.”

• “There will always be someone who wants to help.”

• “Your life matters more than any problem.”

These reminders may seem simple, but they can have a powerful impact on how young people view their ability to cope with challenges.

Talk About What They See Online

Today, many children learn about tragedies through social media before adults realize it. Research shows that exposure to suicide-related content online can increase emotional distress or confusion for young people (Niederkrotenthaler et al., 2020). Parents can help by asking:

• “What have you seen online about this?”

• “What are people saying at school?”

Helping children sort through information and rumors can reduce anxiety and prevent harmful misinformation from spreading.

When Immediate Help Is Needed

If a child talks about wanting to hurt themselves or expresses suicidal thoughts, it is important to take it seriously. Remain calm, stay with the child, and seek immediate support from a mental health professional or crisis service.

In the United States, families can contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, which provides 24-hour support. If a child appears to be in immediate danger, emergency services or the nearest emergency room should be contacted.

One Conversation Is Not Enough

Talking about suicide is not a single conversation. It is part of an ongoing effort to support children’s emotional health. Regular check-ins about school, friendships, and stress help build trust over time. When children know they can talk openly about difficult emotions without fear of judgment, they are far more likely to ask for help when they need it. And sometimes, that simple connection can save a life.

Local Resources for Families in the Lubbock Area

If your child is struggling with thoughts of suicide, overwhelming emotions, or serious mental health challenges, help is available. Families in Lubbock and the South Plains have access to several local and national resources that provide immediate support, counseling, and guidance.

Immediate Crisis Support

If a child or teen is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

You can also contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. This connects you with trained crisis counselors 24 hours a day who provide confidential support for people experiencing emotional distress or suicidal thoughts.

Website: https://988lifeline.org

Another option is Crisis Text Line, where individuals can text HOME to 741741 to communicate with a trained crisis counselor via text message at any time.

Website: https://www.crisistextline.org

Local Mental Health and Family Support Resources

Family Guidance & Outreach

Family Guidance & Outreach works with families across the South Plains to strengthen relationships, support parents, and connect families with resources that help children thrive. FGO provides free parenting classes, youth support programs, and community education focused on child safety, healthy relationships, and emotional well-being. Families looking for guidance, parenting support, or community resources can contact:

Phone: 806-318-1585 Website: www.lubbockfamily.org

StarCare Specialty Health System

StarCare provides crisis mental health services for Lubbock and the surrounding counties. Their 24-hour crisis line (806-740-1414) connects callers with trained professionals who can assess the situation and help determine next steps, including crisis intervention or referrals for additional care. StarCare also operates a Mobile Crisis Outreach Team, which can respond to mental health emergencies in the community when someone may be at risk of harming themselves or others.

Website: https://www.starcarelubbock.org

NAMI Lubbock (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

NAMI Lubbock provides education, advocacy, and support for families navigating mental health challenges. They offer community programs and resources for individuals experiencing mental illness and their loved ones.

Phone: 806-783-9268

Website: https://namilubbock.org

Family Counseling Services

Family Counseling Services is a nonprofit counseling center serving Lubbock and surrounding communities. They provide individual, family, and group counseling and offer sliding-scale fees to make services accessible regardless of income. Their services support individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, family stress, and other mental health concerns.

Website: https://www.fcslubbock.org

School Counselors and Trusted Adults

Local school counselors, social workers, and mental health professionals are also important resources for students who may be struggling. Schools across the South Plains work closely with families and community providers to support student mental health. If your child expresses distress or concerning thoughts, reaching out to a school counselor can be an important first step.

Additional National Resources for Youth

988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text: 988Website: https://988lifeline.org

Crisis Text LineText HOME to 741741Website: https://www.crisistextline.org

The Trevor Project (support for LGBTQ youth)Phone: 1-866-488-7386Text START to 678678Website: https://www.thetrevorproject.org

Texas Youth HotlineCall: 1-800-989-6884Text: 833-986-1919Website: https://www.dfps.texas.gov/youth-helpline

A Message to Parents

If your child is struggling, remember this: you do not have to handle it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength. The earlier children receive help, the better their chances of building healthy coping skills and finding hope again. Communities like ours are strongest when families, schools, and local organizations work together to support the mental health and safety of young people.

References:

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2022). Suicide in children and teens: What parents need to know.

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2022). Talking to children about tragedy and difficult news.

Borowsky, I. W., Ireland, M., & Resnick, M. D. (2001). Adolescent suicide attempts: Risks and protectors. Pediatrics.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Youth Risk Behavior Survey.

Dazzi, T., Gribble, R., Wessely, S., & Fear, N. T. (2014). Does asking about suicide increase suicidal ideation? Psychological Medicine.

Gould, M. S., et al. (2005). Evaluating iatrogenic risk of youth suicide screening programs. JAMA.

National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (2021). Helping children cope with traumatic events.

National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Suicide statistics.

Niederkrotenthaler, T., et al. (2020). Suicide reporting and social media effects. Lancet Psychiatry.

Twenge, J. M., Joiner, T. E., Rogers, M. L., & Martin, G. (2018). Increases in depressive symptoms and suicide-related outcomes among adolescents. Clinical Psychological Science.